unbelievable inconceiveable

Hard to explain how great Julia's Fertile Heart seminar in Woodstock, N.Y., was. It was unbelieveable. We jammed so much into that entire day. I learned so much, still digesting it.
Yet it wasn't like I had any sugar-high type moments or any epiphanies. But it felt very comforting to know I wasn't alone (although I did happen to be the only single woman there at this workshop). Julia says there usually are single women at her workshops. For some reason, at this one, I happened to be the only one. A few married woman came alone so in the one exercise where we had to pair up, I paired up with a married woman. Before we did that exercise I had an uncomfortable moment.
When Julia asked everyone to pair up with their spouse or to wait so she could match up the "pairless" women, I waited near my seat. Some lady in the workshop practically ran into me, putting her back to my face. It was like she was saying "get out of my way lady" so she could get in the area across from her guy. I tried not to let it bother me. I just got the feeling she was insecure or something. Oh, there was another lady who was annoying. She couldn't stop talking about herself, her issues. Whenever I would respond, she would not hear me and talk over me. I realized she really wasn't interested in me. She kept talking to another married woman near me, I almost felt like I was in high school again and the mean girls were trying to exclude others. I don't feel that way that often. I'm not quite sure what this was about. Not sure if it's because these people are in so much pain or I hate to even say this because I'm not sure if this is true but I think it had something to do with me being single and unmatched, some people just don't know how to react/act. That said, there were a few really nice married ladies there who I spoke to, and none of this detracts from how great the seminar was. I just feel like I need to be honest and let it out. Didn't know who to tell this to!
When I drove through Woodstock's downtown, which was all closed up by the time the workshop was over, I decided to stop and walk around and window shop in the dark on that quiet street. I felt at peace. Moreso than I have in a while. I wasn't stressing about WHEN it's going to happen and with who. I'm not kicking myself (at least not today) about what I should have done in the past regarding boyfriends, etc. I'm just accepting that I did the best I could and just wasn't ready until now to be the best mom. Like Julia says, some of us take the scenic route to your children. She said so much more, but I have to get to bed! Will write more soon!!